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Bored, bored, bored...
So I'm back to work today after my 2-week & 2-day holiday. And I'm none too please about it. Amazingly, I was away for over two weeks and, by midday, I'd caught up on everything that was outstanding. Now, I'm bored. As usual. My job never really changes. I only had a few emails to take care and I had no messages on my phone. See how busy I am??
I'm looking forward to moving to Canada for many reason - just one of them being leaving this dull place...
Too much temptation!
I work right next down to a McDonald's restaurant. I'm meeting my husband there in a few minutes for lunch. I shouldn't do it really... I've been trying to watch my weight... Ahhh, what the heck!
Work, McD, Gym
So, here I am, at work, bored to tears. Nothing new there. It's about 3pm and I have another 2 and a half hours of this. Only to return tomorrow and do it all again.
Why don't I quit, you ask. Because they pay me fairly well for doing sweet 'f' all. And because we plan on moving to Canada within the next few months, which leaves me inclined to just stay here instead of looking around for something new. During this hectic time in my life, where we are busy filling in immigration forms, getting photos taken and trying to get written permission from the girls' mum for them to go, the last thing I need is to be worrying about starting a new job.
I have to look on the bright side; I've had plenty of time to do some internet research about immigration and such. What other company would pay me to do that?!
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As I mentioned earlier, I met my hubby for lunch next door at McDonald's. I have a McChicken Sandwich, fries and a Diet Coke. Diet, of course, as I'm watching my weight. HaHa!
With that meal, I went and won a McFlurry. Well, I just had to have it, didn't I?
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We're off to the gym tonite. I'll be swimming. I got a new bathing suit for our holiday a few weeks ago but, with the chilly temperatures in Cumbria, I never got to use it. I just can't believe that I actually thought I would!
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And finally, am I pregnant? I still don't know. I am now 2 weeks and 3 days late for my period (assuming a 28-day cycle). I'm afraid to test. What should I do?!!
Thank you!!
Oo! Oo! A desk has become available. Oh, the little things that cause major excitement in my dreary work life.
You see, not only do I have a very boring job (you've heard it all before), but I also sit with my back to the room. This means that everyone that walks past has a quick look at my screen and usually comments like: "Wow! What are you looking at?" or "Oh, so you're an F1 fan?" or something.
My reply? Well, in my head it's "Mind you're own business!" Out loud, I grin at them and just say 'Yup'.
Nothing annoys me more than someone looking over my shoulder. Especially when I'm at work and I'm supposed to be working, but I have nothing to do so I surf the net!
I have printer right behind me to boot, so people pass and linger sometimes.
Anyway, to get to the point, a colleague has been transferred into London and her desk, by the window, facing into the room, has become available.
I swear, you've never seen a woman move faster.
And thanks for the input JoJo and Minkleberry. I will keep you posted as soon as I get the guts to do something about it. I fear a negative result, of course.
Privacy, Canada... Am I?
I'm sitting at my new desk today! Yipee! This means that I can type whatever I want and I won't have anyone reading over my shoulder. As you can imagine, with a blog called Nicola's Baby Blog, I've been quite careful about who sees it... especially at work.
The IT people at my workplace at so slow. I guess there just aren't enough of them around or something. So I ended up moving my computer myself. If I waited for someone else to come and do it, I'd be waiting until the cows came home. It was, of course, low priority.
I bet I get scolded by the next IT guy who strolls past.
Setting up my desk has also given me something to do today, which is good. It has lifted my spirits a bit, as the thought of sitting here all day doing nothing almost sends me into depression!
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On the moving-to-Canada front, the girls' mother has agreed to put something in writing to give her consent for the girls to come to Canada with us. We have heard that there is an actual form for that. But I've looked all over the Internet for it and I can't find anything. As far as I can tell, a notorized letter of consent is sufficient.
Anybody heard anything different?
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Had a bit of spotting today. I'm starting to worry that those test results could be negative. 
But there's no period yet, so I'm trying to be hopeful.
I tested...
I'm pregnant!!
I can't believe it. I'm still walking around in a daze. But I'm absolutely thrilled. I've been filled with all kinds of silly worries about not being able to conceive and it's such a relief that I'm there. I know that's sounds really weird seeing as we've only been trying about 3 months now, but I guess that's it a woman's right to worry, worry, worry. It's what we do best!
I worried about the effects of my surgery (I had a cyst removed from one of my ovaries about 6 years ago. I worried about my age (hey, I'm only 30!). I even worried about premature menopause (it's been in the newspaper recently). Now I'll have to worry about the pregnancy! 
My morning went like this...
My husband had to go into work really early today and I knew that he wouldn't be back until about 8am or 8:30. My 17-year old stepdaughter, Sarah, starts work at 9am. So, I woke at about 7:15 to the sound of the shower running. I waited until she was up in her room and, with the other two still sleeping, I took my pregnancy test down to the bathroom with me.
I did the test and put it aside, with the box on top of it so that I couldn't peek, for the suggested 4 minutes. I brushed my teeth and, in the end, waited about 5 or 6 minutes before I looked.
Convinced of a negative result, I yanked the box away and gasped when I saw the red dot. Red dot means pregnant!!!!
It was a bright and strong red dot and the box suggests that the test is 99.9% accurate.
So, I take the test back up to the bedroom and re-read the instructions, making sure that I haven't misunderstood the red dot. I was in tears. I was crying and I couldn't read the instructions.
Stephen got home a few minutes later and came upstairs. He stood in the doorway, taking in my dishevelled state. I told him, "you're going to be a daddy again." He came over and looked at the test and gave me a cuddle while I wept. He told me how happy he was.
We woke up the other two and all three were summoned to our bedroom. By this time, I'd managed to reign in the tears. With no time to prepare what I was going to say, I showed them the test and asked if they knew what it was. They nodded. So I asked them if they knew what the red dot meant. They gasped. There were cuddles and tears all around... and lots of questions about when the baby's due date, about who knows about it, about who they can tell, about names, everything!. We don't have all the answers yet but we know that we have plenty of time to find them.
My next step is a doctor's appointment, I guess.
I'm amazed; I'm pregnant.
Still thrilled!
My second day of knowing is almost up. It's been a wild two days. I called my Mum in Canada first thing in her morning and woke her up. She was a bit dazed and wondered right away what was wrong. When I told her that I was pregnant, she stammered, "you're pregnant?" My stepfather, Allan, had been asleep right beside her. I could hear him ask, "Are you speaking to Nicola or Carly?" (Carly's my sister - single, party animal.)
My Mum woke up my brother, Chris, who is slowly recovering from an attack from a poison ivy bush, and he came to the phone too.
Then I called my sister, also in Montreal. She had a hangover from the previous night's party, but quickly recover when I told her the news.
Then I had to wait another couple of hours to call my Dad, as he's even further West than my Mum (Alberta). We didn't wake him up, but we did wake up my stepmother, Peggy.
A little later in the day, my friend Cynthia called on an unrelated topic and I shared the news with her. As I expected, I got squeals of delight.
And finally, around 10pm our time, I made another call to Montreal to speak to another friend, Christina. Her reaction? It's about time!! (She's my age and had her two kids, Chelsea and Connor, quite a few years ago.)
By this time, I was all 'phoned' out, as you can imagine. Everyone's reactions were fabulous and it was such a thrill to share the news.
But I haven't had a doctor's appointment yet. God, can you imagine if the test was wrong?!!! I'll make that appointment right away.
Research and the Sweetsy stuff
I've been doing some online reasearch on pregnancy today. It's all so confusing for us first-timers!
I read about home pregnancy tests too. And about how they work. Experts seem to agree that they are usually very accurate as long as the directions are followed properly. Especially if the result is positive. They say that it's more likely that a negative result could really be a positive one if you test too early or if it's been done incorrectly. Seeing as the test looks for a certain chemical, it's unlikely that it thinks it's found it when it hasn't.
I comforted myself in reading all that today as I have only done the home test. I made a doctor's appointment today though too. I have to wait until Thursday for that.
Since I saw that lovely little red dot on the pregnancy test, I've felt like I have to really be careful. I'm conscious of every time I bend over, every time I pick something up, hell, even how I sit down. I am, I know, being a little too paranoid, but it is in my nature. Gimme a few weeks to get used to this and I'll be just fine.
My husband wrote me an email today (as he does daily when we are at work) and he signed it off with "I love you, baby". Then he added "and baby, I love you too". I'm feeling very emotional about the whole pregnancy thing at the moment and I almost cried right here at work when I read that. I'll have to (jokingly) tell him off later.
Between you and me though, I love it when he says the real sweetsy stuff!
Starving!
I feel hungry. Ravenous really. Do you think it's possible that this tiny baby, who's probably about the size of a grain of rice at the moment, could have the appetite of a horse?
What real?
You know how they say that when you die, you see your life flash before your eyes? Well, I experienced something quite similar when I saw that red dot on the pregnancy test. In the blink of an eye, I saw the pregnancy, I saw the birth, I saw school, I saw university! The whole lifetime-of-commitment thing struck me really hard.
Of course, that reality was something that I was very well aware of. I would not have gotten myself into this if I wasn't prepared for the long run, but it's amazing how the mind works. Sometimes you think that you understand a situation until one more fact is added. Then you think that you obviously didn't understand earlier but that you do now.
I have no doubt that I will be struck with this feeling again and again, as each new day brings new experiences. As my body changes and grows, I will no doubt see this new life as much more real. At the moment, my mind knows that I'm pregnant but, without the big belly, it's hard to really accept it.
The birth is something that flashed into my mind too. I can't imagine a first-time Mum not worrying about it a bit. When I saw that red dot, my mind thought, "I'm so happy! But wait... this baby's gotta come out at some point!" And, as I said before, that is something that I knew before we started trying for a baby, but the reality of it is much more... real. You know?
